What does it actually take to be married to a firefighter?
I see so many girls get wrapped up in the fantasy of being married to a firefighter, but they don't have a clue what it really takes.
For me this is not just a bragging right and it is not as glamorous as the media portrays.
It can be extremely lonely and anxiety ridden.
The anxiety attacks when the phone rings in the middle of night, restless nights sleeping alone, Having to play the roles of mom and dad and attend many events, family functions, holidays alone, or at the fire station. Hearing a car or truck pull up in front of your house unexpectedly triggers the worry and thoughts that someone bringing bad news if you haven’t heard from your spouse all day. Being a fire wife is understanding that even when he is home, his mind might not be and he may just need to sleep even though the kids are begging for his attention.
The most important role of the Fire wife is being able to tell the tone of his voice or the look he gives when he walks through the door, that his shift was rough mentally or physically. He see's horrific things, worse than what I see in the ER and he may need to suppress those images of a call he ran on his 24 hour, 48 hour, or even 72hour + shifts. The lengthy deployments they may go on for disasters that last anywhere from a week to a month can be can be exhausting both mentally and physically on them and us.
I fell in love with a man who happens to be a firefighter and I was luckily raised in the fire family with my mom as a great role model to learn how to be a great fire wife.
Women - If you are just chasing the badge, you will never make it - hence why there are so many ex wives in the fire service. It takes a special Women to be a firefighter wife. You have to be understanding, aright with being alone, no that you are a single parent most of the time, and be aware that his bad mood or crankiness is not always directed at you. Most of all, love your firefighter and be there to listen, support, and lift him up.